A German married to and living with a Portuguese... "Oh JJJJJJJaazzzzzzzuuucccceee!!!"

Over the past several years we have traveled to Portugal many times and have now seemed to move from purely a "tourist" to one that loves and appreciates the country and culture and especially the people.  We love to be a part of the people instead of simply being an observer.  The "tourist" in me is still very fun during our times of visiting Portugal, but there is something about walking into a group of people so far from home that produce huge smiles when your eyes meet.  It is like "coming home." 

I remember the very first time I was in Lisbon, sitting in one of the massive new shopping malls, several stories tall, in the food court.  The court was full and the only table available was a large round one that had an old Portuguese woman sitting at it waiting for her husband to get back with their lunch.  We asked if we could share their table and joined them.  (On that first trip, I knew absolutely no Portuguese and relied solely upon our friends O & M for all communication.)  As we sat there at the table and I watched the couple converse with our friends in a very friendly manner, I was mesmerized by the fact that I was looking at and listening to my husband's Grandma A. 

Grandma A was always Grandma A and I never thought much about it until that first trip.  This woman sitting across the table was "Grandma A" more than I could comprehend.  She dressed like Grma A; she talked like Gma A; she held her purse tightly on her lap like Grma A; her mannerisms were exactly like Grma A.  I simply could not believe what I was seeing!  And, Grandma A had passed away several years previous to this visit.  Mmmmm!

On that first trip and continuing on each trip since, I see "Grandma A" everywhere we go.  R's Grandma A always dressed in black after Grandpa A passed away.  She was heavy-set and very well endowed.  I began to notice many older Portuguese woman share that same body shape at a certain age...

Grandma always had her handbag in her hands regardless of what she was doing.  (I always wondered what is in those black handbags... gold?  jewelry?  money?  secret papers with secrets of the ages?  Most likely they contain a half empty wallet with a couple dollars, or euros, and maybe a picture or two of loved ones now gone.  A coin purse with a couple of coins in it?  I don't know.  You can check my purse when I get old to see what I carry  -- when I am really old!!!)

Grandma A's mannerisms... these women must learn these in school because they share them all!  A look of seriousness on the well worn face that has seen many years of hard work and stress.  When they speak, their hands are waving distinctly in the air as if to exaggerate whatever was being said.  And the voice is loud, as if we are all hard of hearing.  In Portugal I see groups Grandma As talking to other similarly dressed, proportioned and gesturing about the busy of the day.  It's a Grandma A convention!!

The bata, oh the bata!  (Bata = apron covering the dress, more than an apron tied around the waist.  Something that incorporates both an apron and housecoat.  Stylish?   Not so much!)  Grandma A would always wear one when we visited her home. She wore it all day it seemed - while cooking, while cleaning, while whatever she was doing.  In the morning, she would be standing in the kitchen making eggs, meat, toast and coffee, with her bata on, while Grandpa A still slept in bed.  In Portugal, all the woman, especially the older ones, wear then all day as they go about their duties.  I have a confession for you all, I purchased a bata for myself.  I wear it all the time when I am in the kitchen.  If not, I end up having to change as I inevitably have spilled something on myself!?!  I love my bata!  :)

Now please allow me to tell you about my Grandma L.  She, unlike Grma A was a German woman that worked her whole life not only in the home, but on the farm.  She like Grma A, had some similar tendencies, like clutching that handbag tightly in her hands on her lap.  I'm not sure what was ever inside but assume much the same as described above.  She also always wore an apron (much like the bata) as she worked in her home.  Unlike Grma A, Grma L showed little, if any emotion when she spoke, with the exception of sternness.  She was shaped much the same but was taller and instead of a short cut hairstyle, wore her hair in a bun at the back of her neck that when let down at night revealed hair that flowed down her back to her waist.  Both worked hard over the years to provide for their families, and both suffered losses that no mother should go through.  Two Grandmas similar, yet VERY different.  I loved them both.

Grandma A was born in Portugal and traveled to America with her family which settled first in Hawaii, then came to California.  She was married to Grandpa A at a very young age and gave birth to four children, three sons and one daughter.  Her daughter passed away in young childhood and she lived beyond her husband of 60 years and all three sons who lived only into their mid 60's.  She lived the last part of her life with a grief that no mother and wife should have to bear, in a world that seemed no longer to bring joy to her life.  

***A note regarding the title of this post:  "Oh JJJJJeeeezzzzuuuccceee!" was an expression that Grandma A would use in many situations she felt exasperated with, always drawing her hand to her heart as she said it.    (= "Oh Jesus!", not in a cursing way by any means, but as if to say "Oh, my!!!" with a gasp and such expression and emotion.)  Her religion ran deep and she loved her God. 

I am so grateful to have known Grandma A for several years.  And now I appreciate her life so much more as I travel to Portugal time after time and see the countless "Grandmas" walking down the narrow streets and sidewalks carrying their goods in a bag over their arms dressed in black.  These women are a timeless reminder of Grandmas everywhere.